How Do I Return To God's Presence?

I've gotten this question a couple of times and sometimes, I have found myself asking it... First things first, let go of the guilt. Guilt is NOT of God. If it lasts more than 5-15 seconds, that's the devil playing games with you. Holy guilt leads you to repentance, if it's keeping you FROM returning then it's not of God.

So you have been away for too long.. or maybe it's a week, a few days, however long it is. Remind yourself that God loves it when you come back. Forreal. When I find myself wanting to reach out but afraid and ashamed that I have to say "I'm sorry" for the one thousandth time, I remind myself that He wants me back. Like His hands are literally wide open waiting to receive you. God yearns for your presence.

So how do I start? Well it depends.
When it's a few days I find that I just go on my knees, with a bit of shame on my face but a hopeful heart because God doesn't disappoint. There are times I wouldn't pray for a whole week, kneel down and find His presence resting over me. Like I never left. I don't know if this is just me but I like to believe there is special grace upon my life. And I keep up, we can't be falling off every few weeks, there should be levels to thisssssss.

When it's been a while, weeks or so, we should really try to avoid this.

Start by listening to sermons on Youtube, slowly begin to replace whatever music you've been listening to with some worship music. Begin to visit your Bible app a lot more. Check out that online devotional you haven't visited in a while. The longer you have been away, the harder it is to return; these preparatory steps are to slowly start transforming your mind and putting your spirit in lead. They serve to counteract those lies the devil is probably feeding you that you are too ruined to return. Feed yourself with the right things and when you are able to, fall on your knees. Actually, you might find yourself prostrating on the floor because you are genuinely sorry for neglecting Abba for that long. And if there's a sin that you have committed that keeps bothering you, start confessing immediately (I suggest Psalms 51). We are humans and God's love is unconditional, He will receive you with welcoming arms. (All this is said with the assumption that you didn't stop attending church services. If you did, boyyyy that is the first step, start going to church again.)

Now, please, please... I beg you in the name of God. Stop running away. Remain here. I'm sure you already know this is the only place there is joy, peace and happiness. Remain here.
Watch out for next post on how to stay in His Presence.

Stay Grateful!

The Veil Has Been Torn (Bible Passage)

        Now rid off the shackles my victory is yours

        I tore "the veil" for you to come close

        There's no reason to stand at a distance anymore 

        You're not far from home (Out of Hiding by Steffany Gretzinger)

I've had this song on repeat for weeks now; the lyrics is just amazing. I've done two dance ministrations to it but I still can't get enough. The whole album is FIRE, y'all should check it out. 

Today I read Leviticus 15 and 16. Quite frankly, it's been rough reading through the book of Leviticus. I resist the urge to say that it's boring but today when I sat down to read my Bible, I told God that I refuse to zoom through the chapters without getting any understanding.

I like to write when I read my bible (both in my journal and directly in my Bible). I know I enjoyed a chapter when I have written all over it. Well I just flipped through my Leviticus thus far and there is barely anything written down except for today.....

Leviticus 16 speaking about the Day of Atonement. I'm just going to give a run down of the chapter.

Leviticus 15:31 - “Thus you shall keep the people of Israel separate from their uncleanness, lest they die in their uncleanness by defiling my tabernacle that is in their midst.”

Because our uncleanness (AKA our sins) can kill us. Remember Aaron's sons who offered strange fire to God.... well fire consumed them and they died. When the people defiled the tabernacle of God, it led to instant death.

"Aaron shall offer the bull as a sin offering for himself and shall make atonement for himself and for his house." - Leviticus 16:6

Aaron had to make atonement for his own sins and that of his family before he could atone for the people's sins. When he was done with that, he would kill one goat and sprinkle its blood behind "the veil" on the mercy seat as a sin offering for the people to God. 

"Then he shall kill the goat of the sin offering that is for the people and bring its blood inside the veil and do with its blood as he did with the blood of the bull, sprinkling it over the mercy seat and in front of the mercy seat." - Leviticus 16:15

For the second goat, Aaron would place his hand on the goat's head and literally name all the sins of the people so the goat can bear those iniquities before it is sent into the wilderness. 

"And Aaron shall lay both his hands on the head of the live goat, and confess over it all the iniquities of the people of Israel, and all their transgressions, all their sins. And he shall put them on the head of the goat and send it away into the wilderness by the hand of a man who is in readiness." - Leviticus 16:21

And when I was reading this whole list of what Aaron had to do on the day of atonement so the people's iniquities can be forgiven, all that ran through my head was "Didi you don't have to do this."

The fact that when Jesus died on that cross... when He said "It is finished," it truly was finished. That veil was TORN!!! I don't need to watch Aaron go behind any veil to atone for my sins, I can come into the presence of my father! Because Jesus presented Himself as the great high priest, because He is the perfect sacrifice, I have direct access to God.

What is the veil? The veil is where the priest would sprinkle the blood of animals to symbolically transfer the sins of the people to the sanctuary. So whenever someone would bring a sin offering, the blood gets sprinkled on the veil (and the horns of the altar of incense). The Day of Atonement is observed to cleanse the sanctuary of the accumulated sins and it's done once a year. Now imagine that veil being torn? It means I don't have to make atonements for my sins to enter the presence of God because that price has been paid once and for all.

Can I plead with you about something? Please don't take what Jesus did on that cross for you for granted. I want you to know that when He was taking his last breath, He was thinking of how you could now enjoy a close relationship with God. 

He has removed our sins as far from us
    as the east is from the west." - Psalm 103:12

That is what He did for you and me. Let us not relent in our pursuit of that intimate relationship with our father. If He didn't care for us, He wouldn't have sent Jesus.....

Love and Peace always..

Oh and who said the bible is boring again? I stand corrected LOL.

The Comparison Game

Comparison; the act or instance of comparing (estimating, measuring, or noting the similarity or dissimilarity between).

Do you ever just... Have you ever found yourself comparing yourself to others? It's real out here man, especially in this period in my life. Graduation is fast approaching, people are getting into graduate school, everyone is making moves. Looks like I'm the only one who is stagnant..  Like what in the world is going on? Why did she get that and not me? Why didn't they call me for that? Even this girl I'm supposedly better than (Lord help me) is getting opportunities left and right. When will my own time come? I'm trying to understand God what is the purpose of right now? I don't seem to be moving anywhere; things are not working out. How am I suppose to trust you if there's nothing to trust you about this season?

Can I just be real with y'all? The seed of comparison and envy have been pulling on me real hard lately. The beginning months of this year have been so unfruitful (at least by my judgement) that it has me questioning God from time to time and I wonder if anyone else is on the same boat as me. I love the Bible y'all and I'm about to unpack every verse that reminds me that I am relevant, that God is not done with me and that I need to trust Him even in this season. Because at the end of the day the word of God is my only weapon.

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." - Psalm 139:16
God knows every single day of my life even before they played out. His hand is in this moment.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." - 1 Peter 2:9

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." - Romans 8:28

"For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." - 2 Corinthians 10:12

After you have fed on these verses, I encourage you to reduce your social media presence. You have a higher tendency to compare yourself with others when you spend a lot of time viewing other people's lives. Post and leave, you can delete the app until you have something to post again. Also begin to focus on the things that are going well in your life even if it is one thing; hold onto that and do it diligently. Thirdly, rejoice with people who are rejoicing, ask God for genuine happiness so you can celebrate with them without having an envious heart and stop thinking you're better than anyone. Lastly, your time is coming, if God has said, He will do it.

"God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. - Numbers 23:19

"You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it." - James 4:2

Rest in His will for you, God got you.

PS: I started making video journals to document the stages I'm going through in this year. It's been a lot of low moments but I can't wait to see how great this year will turn. We will reap this fruit of this moment.

My Source

My source comes from God.
God is my source.
My source of joy, happiness, peace, hope, satisfaction and strength.
God is my source.

I don't know who needed this but I just wanted to remind you that only God can satisfy. What have you been looking for in the wrong places? Where have you been trying to fill your void? Why do you keep avoiding God? Did you think your friends would satisfy you? Or that you would find peace in occupying yourself with jobs, internships, school? Did you think that a getaway was all you needed? Or that calling a friend would suffice? Why haven't you knelt and poured out your heart to God? Why have you turned a blind eye to His beautiful invitation?  Did you forget that God is the source of your peace? That unsettling feeling that lingers regardless of all the options you have exhausted will not depart until you have a talk with God. "Sit child, let's talk." I know you heard Him. Sit.

My source comes from God.
God is my source.
My source of joy, happiness, peace, hope, satisfaction and strength.
God is my source.

If there is one thing I have learned from having a relationship with God, it's that He is my only satisfaction. I can't be joyful apart from God. There is no me without God. I am an absolute wreck outside of Him. I'm not satisfied when I am walking outside of His will for me. No man/boyfriend/best-friend/human being is capable of filling my void like God does. Therefore whenever I feel empty, unfulfilled, irrelevant, uneasy, etc. I evaluate my relationship with God FIRST before proceeding with other options. No one understands but God. I encourage you to have a talk with Him today, He is willing to help you out.

PRAYER: Thank you God for reminding that You are my source. Apart from You I am nothing. I understand that no one else can fill my void but You. I welcome You into my heart and ask that You fill me up. I release the key to all of me to You, I am willing to become vulnerable with You. You are my source. Revive my joy, uphold my peace and increase my strength in Jesus name. Amen.

PS: There is nothing wrong with calling a friend when you are feeling dismayed as long as you understand that you go to God first.

Memory Verse of the Week

So You Want a Valentine?

Set my Siri to male because we all need some testosterone haha!

Yes I asked Siri, because why not?
I mean I'm desperate and I think you are too... I know you understand.

Being single on Valentine's day in this present day and age is not easy at all. In fact for you to maintain your sanity on this day, you have to stay off all social media platforms and turn off your phone to prevent friends from sending you screenshots of overly mushy messages from their baes and pictures of whatever gifts they received. Also, to avoid any type of hatred, sadness, animosity, envy, etc. I advice you stay indoors and if possible, wear ear plugs so you don't hear any love songs that can drive you into depression or exaggerate your loneliness.

Okay I might be dragging it.. But come on, it's really not for the faint hearted to remain strong on V-day. We break, we all do.

But what if I told you love isn't meant for just a day. What if I told you that if you are feeling lonely, unloved, depressed, etc. on this day that it is a reflection of your relationship with God. That if February 14th brings you anxiety then there might be a problem. Have you been desperate? Have you become nicer to the guys around you? Or resorted to self pity because all your friends are taken? Are you trying to rekindle past relationships?
  
"But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love." 1 John 4:7

Focus on that second part, God is love. That's who He is. Therefore God ceases to be God the second He stops loving because it is out of his character; being love.

As children of God, we get to partake in His feast of love. We get to sit on His table and get a constant/unquenchable supply of His love served to us in heavenly plates. But guess what? Some of us have decided to opt out, sit on the floor and feed on crumbs that have fallen from the table of love. We have neglected God's invitation to occupy a seat and obtain a 5 course meal just to settle for crumbs. Crusty crumbs that don't embody God's love then we wonder why we are not satisfied. Wonder why we need a man to validate our worth. Wonder why if there is no man on my phone then I ain't nobody. Wonder why I feel the need to flaunt my assets to feel popping. Wonder why I feel lonely when I am alone.

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Songs of Solomon 4:7

Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right. Songs of Solomon 8:4

Woman of God your source comes from God. Woman of God no man can satisfy you. Woman of God your worth is found in Christ. Woman of God stop feeding on crumbs! Get up, dust up and feast on His table of love. This love breaks every chain. This love casts out every fear. This love quenches every thirst and fills you up. This love is an everyday kind of love. Woman of God would you seek GOD with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength? Would you allow Him to trade your weakness for strength? Would you become vulnerable to Him? Let him satisfy you like none other.

When you're basking in God's love, when the thought of Jesus keeps giving you butterflies, you wouldn't dare harbor thoughts of loneliness or depression. V-day is another beautiful day the lord has created, rejoice and be glad in it! 

For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:5 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
- Didi :)

2017: Year of Reaping

Welcome to the New Year!

In this year, we will reap the fruits of our labor.
Whatever that means because when God said it, I didn't thoroughly comprehend its meaning. But that's not my business, if He has said it He will do it.

I pray this year,
as God is looking for lives that He will use, yours will be available
You are aware of the deeper calling on your life
You step fully into God's calling/purpose for life, withholding nothing
You live above the issues of this world and focus on Christ.

This year,
a lot of people will be bold for Christ
There will be a separation of the sheep from the goat
God is visiting some people heavily

So let's all strive to be a part of God's plan this year. Don't be found missing when God is choosing His people. Be determined to dive into God's plan for your life. Make up in your mind that you will make moves this year. Don't hold back, you are capable and God will crown your efforts.

We are reaping the fruits of our labor this year. Cheers to a beautiful year.